JOY IN THIS MOMENT

Recently I read an incredible book called “The Lifegiving Table” by Sally Clarkson. One of the things she does every year is have a Christmas Tea as a way of celebrating her friendships. She invites her closest friends over every year around Christmas as a way of thanking them. I thought that was a great idea and something I could do. So I made a list of my closest kindred spirits and sent out an invitation. My mother-in-law is amazing and had the girls the whole day of the Tea so I could prepare both my home and the food and then they also spent the night at her house so I could rest the next morning. That was a wonderful gift and I’m so thankful for her because it allowed me to also really enjoy and be refreshed by the evening. And it was so much fun. We started out mingling and then filled our plates and mugs and sat around our dining room table and chatted all together for almost three hours. I had a few questions lined up to help conversation flow and to help us learn from one a

Lately, I’ve been trying to ask Sophia what she would like to do that day. I want her to have a wonderful childhood and I want her to enjoy her days. Of course we won’t always be able to do what she wants, but if it’s something tangible, than I want to do that with her and for her. I thought, what if the things we fill our days with really aren’t what she wants to be doing. So the other day the one thing she wanted to do is play the “pop-up” game which is the game “Trouble”. Some times I utilize snack time as a time to do something with her that is harder to do with Liza- like a craft, or read a longer story, because Liza is preoccupied with her snack. So I thought maybe we could play a game at that time but it didn’t work out. And as the day went on we just didn’t get to it. That night as I was giving her a bath, I told her we were going to do something really special. She lit up, “what Mommy?!?” “We’re going to play the pop-up game in your bed!” And we did. And had so much fun. When

I was talking with a good friend yesterday about our toddler problems. And she said one of her friends who has older kids had told her recently, “little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems.” I can’t stop thinking about that profound statement as I’ve been living with these little toddler problems having the woe-is-me attitude. I wanted to share our tiny little problems and the things I do to help solve them for anyone that may find them useful or for my future self and future toddlers. These are little problems and not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I need this reminder constantly when I feel like I’m sinking. 1. Screaming/ crying in the car. Liza has always been terrible in the car. I keep thinking soon it will end but it hasn’t so far. So, I decided last week for my sanity, any trip longer than 10 minutes I’m giving her a lollipop. And it works like a charm. 2  Up through the night and awake early. I go to bed as soon as I can. Always by 10:30. Some times by 8

Liza is sick once again. Fever as high as 104 and yesterday was almost constantly wheezing. I encouraged Sophie to pray for Liza after tucking her in to bed last night. When she got up this morning I asked Sophie how she slept and she said “really good and I asked God to make Liza all better!” I knew that if Sophie would pray for Liza, God would show her He hears her prayers. Sure enough, Liza’s breathing is significantly better and she’s barely feverish. Thank you God for hearing her prayers and showing her your presence, faithfulness, and that you hear us.

I recently discovered that kids eat free on Tuesday nights at Denny’s, so for the past two weeks, I’ve taken the girls there and we’ve had such a delightful time eating out and enjoying each other. With Wes on 3-11, I often lack motivation to cook a nice meal for just the three of us, and I also get lonely. So I thought this would be a great thing to do with the girls- enjoy a hot meal and each other’s company out in public. I hope to keep it a tradition if we’re able. Sometimes we read books while we wait for our food, and other times the girls play with figurines, sometimes I play and sometimes I just sit back and watch them amazed by their sweetness, cuteness, and creativity. It’s teaching them manners and how to behave in public. And it’s teaching me to slow down and enjoy them. We shared many laughs together tonight and I think it’s safe to say, we are all going to bed with our cup full.

When Wes and I first got married I proposed the idea of getting away 3 times a year, even if it was just for one night. For each of our birthdays and for our anniversary. Each celebration perfectly spaced by 4 months. And for the most part, we've kept to that and it's been wonderful. We've been to a few bed and breakfasts in Gettysburg, New Holland, and the Finger Lakes. A hotel in a nearby town, camping close to home, Vermont with friends, and a night away for a wedding in Lancaster. I feel so blessed for having each of those opportunities. This little tradition has been pivotal in our marriage and purposefully creates time for us to have fun and relax. We laugh, we eat, we play. It's wonderful. For my birthday, Wes suggested just staying home and doing things around town. So we found a time my inlaws could watch the girls and made it happen. It was delightful and I feel so refreshed. We went out to lunch, napped, went for a hike, went to a book sale, went out to dinne

Yesterday was a bad day. It started out good...I had time to shower and have a long quiet time with Jesus before Liza woke up. We had a fun morning and she went down for her nap easily. Sophie was feeling better finally, after over a week of being very ill with Salmonella. And I had an eye appt at 10:00. Wes was watching the girls and I got to go by myself. I swung into Walmart quick to grab a few staples and ran into some dear friends I hadn't seen in awhile. That totally blessed my day. I had adult conversations with people at the eye doctor which seemed like a mini vacation, and I got done in time to take the girls to storytime at 11:00. I needed to get gas for Wes's little gas tank so he could mow the lawn, so I was trying to be as quick as possible. A little old lady asked me for help pumping (she had grabbed the diesel pump and couldn't figure out why it wasn't fitting into her car). Sweet dear women. Anyways, amongst pumping and helping her, I must have left my w

When Liza was an infant, she would wake up around 2 or 3am and no matter what I did, she would stay awake for a solid two hours. Every night. It was like as soon as the 2 hour mark hit she was fast asleep, but could not fall asleep before that. When she was about 6 months old I started to do some serious research on sleep training and finally realized crying it out was an option and worth a try. It had never occurred to me before, I think partially because I would run into her room at the first sound she made when she was first born, because I didn't want her to wake up Sophia. And then for some reason, I just continued to do that. Well after a few nights of sleep training, I had a baby who became an excellent sleeper. We can lay her down wide awake and she can talk herself to sleep and if she happens to wake up at night, she is able to put herself right back to sleep. She doesn't need a nuk, she doesn't need a bottle, she doesn't need rocked. But, after I got her sleep

Last night Sophie woke up to a really loud thunderstorm around 3am. Thunderstorms are her biggest fear. And fireworks. Every night before she goes to bed she asks me if there will be any fireworks or thunderstorms that night. And when they happen she quickly becomes hysterical. We are at my parents right now, and I've been sleeping in their newly renovated basement so I had no idea what was happening but quickly heard her sobs on the monitor and ran upstairs. This was probably the most scared I've ever seen her because it was one of those thunderstorms that booms and roars and lights up the sky. So when I got upstairs and looked at my weather app to see that the storm wasn't going to stop anytime soon, I asked if she wanted me to stay and sleep in her bed. Of course she said yes, so I ran back downstairs and got Liza's monitor and cuddled up next to her. She stopped crying immediately and within the minute she was back asleep. Even though it was so loud and bright, beca

For as long as I can remember my dream was to be a stay-at-home-mom. And then around my freshmen year of high school, I knew I wanted to be a nurse. And now, the Lord is showing me, I am both. And this is my dream come true. Although, lately it often does not seem like I am living my dream when I am up a lot of the night tending to my sick babies, wiping noses all day long, and dealing with constant fussiness. So I'm so thankful to the Lord for this reminder! Last night, Wes and I went for a walk on Purdue's campus and we walked by the nursing building. Such great memories from Purdue and I'm so thankful for my education that I received from there. I've been missing my work as a nurse. I know the Lord called me to it, and I love helping people feel better and serving them when they are sick. But I also know for this season it's so important for me to be home and to focus 100% on building my home and family. So last night, as we sat outside of the nursing building,

Some nights, Wes gets home from work at crazy hours of the night. It's like I become Jekyll and Hyde- you never know what girl I'll be when he gets home. And I don't like that about myself. I wish I could always wake up and be cheerful and happy but most nights I am stressed about not being able to fall back asleep and the amount of sleep I'm missing by being awake. I wish I could wait up for him, feed him, and sit across the table from him while he told me about work. But this is just not feasible. So I'm working on at least being respectful. The other night I was so beyond tired and just not myself and Wes told me "you are just mean". That really struck me. I never ever want to be a mean person, let alone a mean wife!!! Probably the best book I've ever read on marriage is "Love and Respect" which is based on Ephesians 5:33, "However, each of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. " It

For awhile I've been wanting to get to Ollie's Bargain Outlet to get some more books for my girls. They are both loving books right now and we can't seem to have enough books. I mean we have plenty, but since they love it so much I was wanting to get some new ones to feed into their interest. We go to the library on a mostly weekly basis getting about 20 books at a time, but I am not exaggerating when I say we read that pile every day. I just haven't seemed to be able to get to Ollie's. And then a friend of mine sent me an email inviting me to a "book party". She had recently cleaned out her girls's closet and wanted to give away some books that they are no longer using. Wow! I couldn't believe the timing of this email and the generosity of my friend. So yesterday we went to her house and had a great time playing, and left with two big bags of wonderful, beautiful, enriching books. As I was leaving, my friend also asked if she could send home s

In college, a few of my friends and I were obsessed with Elisabeth Elliott and mostly her book, "Passion and Purity". I remember Betsy talking about how when she was lonely she looked for opportunities to serve God by loving and serving others-  and that cured the loneliness. I've thought of this often since then and have found it true in my own life. Yesterday, my doctor's office called and said they saw two different subchorionic hematomas on my ultrasound. This was totally out of the blue and something I have never heard before. I felt confused and in shock. I've already been a little on edge this week as I'm 11 weeks along. That's when we lost our second baby. So I've just been living with a dark cloud over my head for the past few days with a fear of impending doom. I was pretty emotional and so I tried to explain it to Sophie that we just really need to be praying that the new baby stays healthy and strong. She told me as we prayed, "Mom

Wes has been off since Friday morning and it's been wonderful. After a year of almost no weekends off, a 3 day weekend has been so refreshing and also so restful. He's been working on building a retaining wall and fire pit in the backyard but other than that, we've not really worked on anything. Yesterday was especially restful and wonderful. We were supposed to have the Nicosia's over for dinner but Olivia is sick. I was so bummed because I was really looking forward to that time with them. Since we had plenty of food for dinner, we decided to invite Ambri and Dane and kids over to eat and then we took the boat out for a bit. The kids just had the best time playing with each other, laughing, going on the boat, and making memories. I feel so blessed to have family so close by and have kids so close in age to Ambri's. It's just built-in life-long friends and it's been so fun watching them grow in their friendship as they grow older. After they left, Wes bui

That's what the doctor said as she found our littlest baby's heart beat today. And my heart melted. Isn't that what motherhood is? Our heartbeat's all mixed up with each other? My mom once told me that I am her heart that beats outside her body. I thought that was the sweetest thing to ever say. And then I became a mom myself and realized that's the perfect way to describe my love and devotion to my children. Thank you Lord, for filling my quiver one by one. Truly I am blessed. And thank you for the gift of hearing a new heartbeat today.

This morning I was reading from Matthew where Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray. He says to ask of God,  "give us this day our daily bread". This first trimester has been the hardest of them all. Even after we had a miscarriage at 11 weeks and pregnant again two weeks later- which was like 26 weeks long of a first trimester- this is worse. I feel pretty sick and miserable most of the time, I'm exhausted, and so very emotional. But I have seen the Lord provide my daily bread, day in and day out. He fills me up. He gives me all I need for each day. And not to just survive, but to laugh and find joy, and rest. One of the greatest gifts He gives me on a daily basis is waking me up each morning to spend time with Him. Liza still fluctuates in her wake up time and so the Lord wakes me up at the right time so we have enough time to spend together. Usually it's around 5:45. Today it was 6:30. And Liza slept in until almost 8:00! That's unheard of for her but the Lor

Today we didn't leave the house at all. No errands. No meeting up somewhere with someone. Home all day. And I'm not trying to be legalistic about it all. If someone would have asked us to get together we would have. Or if I had errands to run I would have. But I'm just not going out of my way to leave the house. Sophie helped me bake some blueberry scones. We cleaned the mudroom. And then this afternoon we had friends over- my friend Leigh has two precious little ones that are my kids' age so it was perfect and fun. The kids played great and Sophie was such a good little hostess.  Sharing her toys and laughing. Kissing the baby and making sure she was okay. Waving to them as they left and saying to me, "Mommy I had so much fun!" It was a great day. And truthfully I loved being home all day. I loved the opportunity to have friends over to our house and practice hospitality and sharing. And opening the doors to allow others the chance to enjoy this space and all

Lately I've been feeling the Lord speaking to my heart the importance of being home. With Wes's work schedule and the amount of hours he works, I often like to make plans or get out of the house to help the days go faster. The Lord's been calling me to just be home. Make home a fun place for the girls. A place they love to be. So, I'm trying. My days are slow and long. But what a blessing! In a world where everyone else wants time to slow down, where everyone else is so busy, I get to be at home with my two sweet girls getting to witness their whole entire day. Experiencing every single thing they are. And enjoying one another. Wes was off yesterday and I thought it would be fun to go for a hike in the afternoon. To have a nice big breakfast together, have a lazy morning playing playmobil and reading books, but after nap get in the car, get some ice cream from McDonalds, and go for a little hike. Sophie was so excited about it she was talking so fast and so much as I

The Lord is constantly at work in my every moment of the day. And I thought I might just use this space to give Him some glory and praise and really try and recognize and remember His good gifts. A day goes by and I already forget the gifts He gave me yesterday. I want to be better about writing it down so I can share with my girls as they grow, just how good God is, in the every day. Liza who is now one, seems to be cutting her first molar. She is miserable and clingy. Last night she woke up as we were going to bed and nothing seemed to calm her down except just holding her. Wes was happy to rock her for a bit, because he's just such a good father and Liza especially adores  him and seems to prefer him. He rocked her for awhile but when he tried to lay her down she started to cry again, so I came in so Wes could get some sleep. Today he starts his new job as a police officer at Lock Haven City. Such a blessing to have this job and I wanted to make sure he got a good nights sleep