Sometimes We Just Need to Be Held

Last night Sophie woke up to a really loud thunderstorm around 3am. Thunderstorms are her biggest fear. And fireworks. Every night before she goes to bed she asks me if there will be any fireworks or thunderstorms that night. And when they happen she quickly becomes hysterical. We are at my parents right now, and I've been sleeping in their newly renovated basement so I had no idea what was happening but quickly heard her sobs on the monitor and ran upstairs. This was probably the most scared I've ever seen her because it was one of those thunderstorms that booms and roars and lights up the sky. So when I got upstairs and looked at my weather app to see that the storm wasn't going to stop anytime soon, I asked if she wanted me to stay and sleep in her bed. Of course she said yes, so I ran back downstairs and got Liza's monitor and cuddled up next to her. She stopped crying immediately and within the minute she was back asleep. Even though it was so loud and bright, because I was there and she held my hand in her sleep, she was able to fall back asleep and sleep soundly through the rest of the night.

I was literally just thinking that night before I fell to sleep I would love to cuddle Soph in her sleep some time but because since her birth, I've established a clear boundary that she has her own bed and we have our own, I've always been nervous to sleep with her afraid it would make her want that every night. Now that she's three, if she needs me to sleep with her on a scary night, I'm more than happy to. And as I laid there with her last night I was thinking about Jesus. So many different times in scripture He tells us how he longs to hold us, care for us, sing over us. The Lord is so kind and gentle and has rescued me from my fears, wiped away my tears, guided me to spacious pastures. He is present at all times, but I feel Him the closest when I'm desperate for Him. I long to be more child-like. To simply call out to Jesus when the thunderstorm comes and be able to immediately stop crying and fall back asleep because I know He is with me. Holding me and loving me. And I long to be more Christ-like. To have the patience to always hold and love and care and sing. Thank you Jesus for using Sophia over and over again to teach me about you and your deep love and care.

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Denny’s

I recently discovered that kids eat free on Tuesday nights at Denny’s, so for the past two weeks, I’ve taken the girls there and we’ve had such a delightful time eating out and enjoying each other. With Wes on 3-11, I often lack motivation to cook a nice meal for just the three of us, and I also get lonely. So I thought this would be a great thing to do with the girls- enjoy a hot meal and each other’s company out in public. I hope to keep it a tradition if we’re able. Sometimes we read books while we wait for our food, and other times the girls play with figurines, sometimes I play and sometimes I just sit back and watch them amazed by their sweetness, cuteness, and creativity. It’s teaching them manners and how to behave in public. And it’s teaching me to slow down and enjoy them. We shared many laughs together tonight and I think it’s safe to say, we are all going to bed with our cup full.

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Recently I read an incredible book called “The Lifegiving Table” by Sally Clarkson. One of the things she does every year is have a Christmas Tea as a way of celebrating her friendships. She invites her closest friends over every year around Christmas as a way of thanking them. I thought that was a great idea and something I could do. So I made a list of my closest kindred spirits and sent out an invitation. My mother-in-law is amazing and had the girls the whole day of the Tea so I could prepare both my home and the food and then they also spent the night at her house so I could rest the next morning. That was a wonderful gift and I’m so thankful for her because it allowed me to also really enjoy and be refreshed by the evening. And it was so much fun. We started out mingling and then filled our plates and mugs and sat around our dining room table and chatted all together for almost three hours. I had a few questions lined up to help conversation flow and to help us learn from one a...

Prayer for Liza

Liza is sick once again. Fever as high as 104 and yesterday was almost constantly wheezing. I encouraged Sophie to pray for Liza after tucking her in to bed last night. When she got up this morning I asked Sophie how she slept and she said “really good and I asked God to make Liza all better!” I knew that if Sophie would pray for Liza, God would show her He hears her prayers. Sure enough, Liza’s breathing is significantly better and she’s barely feverish. Thank you God for hearing her prayers and showing her your presence, faithfulness, and that you hear us.

JOY IN THIS MOMENT

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