In college, a few of my friends and I were obsessed with Elisabeth Elliott and mostly her book, "Passion and Purity". I remember Betsy talking about how when she was lonely she looked for opportunities to serve God by loving and serving others- and that cured the loneliness. I've thought of this often since then and have found it true in my own life.
Yesterday, my doctor's office called and said they saw two different subchorionic hematomas on my ultrasound. This was totally out of the blue and something I have never heard before. I felt confused and in shock. I've already been a little on edge this week as I'm 11 weeks along. That's when we lost our second baby. So I've just been living with a dark cloud over my head for the past few days with a fear of impending doom. I was pretty emotional and so I tried to explain it to Sophie that we just really need to be praying that the new baby stays healthy and strong. She told me as we prayed, "Mommy, Majo will be praying too and that will make the baby all better." I love that she sees such faith in her Majo and knows without a doubt Majo is praying for this baby. Then she also told me that she's sure her uncles will pray too even though they are away at school. And later when I stopped crying she asked if I felt all better and I tried to explain to her the peace of God and the trust I have in Him. She has been learning about the fruit of the spirit in her Sunday School, so I've been looking for ways to describe what they are. I'm so thankful the Lord opened the door to explain peace. After we talked about it, Sophie said, "Mommy God will make your baby all better. And then your baby can pop out! He will go in with His own, boy doctor stuff to make the baby all better." And when we were praying before bed she thanked God for the baby being all better. Ah I adore her and her faith and sweetness!
But back to the serving. I had planned to take Sophie with me to help our church with an outreach on our local college campus- scooping free ice cream. It was past her bedtime but I thought it would be a good opportunity to talk about serving because we want to share God's love. When I first got the phone call I didn't want to go out. I just wanted to stay in my cozy house with my cozy husband and cozy pajamas and cozy TV. But then I remembered Betsy's advice and decided it would help me tremendously by going. And it did. I went to bed with joy in my heart. And greatful for a sweet girl who teaches me and helps me in my walk with the Lord daily. I had just told someone today that I think trusting God means that even if your worse fear comes true, you know in your heart it will all be okay because God is always good. And then you have peace because really there is nothing to fear since God is always good. Peace that surpasses understanding... 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.
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