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Love and Respect

Some nights, Wes gets home from work at crazy hours of the night. It's like I become Jekyll and Hyde- you never know what girl I'll be when he gets home. And I don't like that about myself. I wish I could always wake up and be cheerful and happy but most nights I am stressed about not being able to fall back asleep and the amount of sleep I'm missing by being awake. I wish I could wait up for him, feed him, and sit across the table from him while he told me about work. But this is just not feasible. So I'm working on at least being respectful. The other night I was so beyond tired and just not myself and Wes told me "you are just mean". That really struck me. I never ever want to be a mean person, let alone a mean wife!!!

Probably the best book I've ever read on marriage is "Love and Respect" which is based on Ephesians 5:33, "However, each of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. " It talks about the crazy cycle that spins out of control when we, as wives, disrespect our husbands, they become unloving, so we show more disrespect, and they make us feel more unloved and the cycle just goes crazy. But if, when we as women feel unloved but still show respect, then our husbands are more likely to show us love and get us spinning on the healthy cycle- more love leads to more respect which leads us to feel more loved, etc.

Last night Wes got home around midnight but I had already been asleep for hours. My neck has really been bothering me and when I woke up it was very stiff and painful. I asked Wes about his night and we talked for awhile and then I told him about my neck. We were trying to figure out where the heating pad was and he remembered he had a Thermacare Heat Wrap. He went and got it for me and put in on my neck. Not long after that Sophie woke up because she soaked the bed. Wes brought her downstairs and changed her and then changed the bed and tucked her in making her laugh hysterically as he said goodnight.  Also around that time I started feeling very nauseous and went to the bathroom for awhile and came back with a bagel and cream cheese (I am loving all things dairy right now, and I always love all things bread ☺️) and some gingerale. We put on a funny show and were both gitty with laughter. Wes showed me so much love last night and through that it really helped me respect him, and not be grouchy and mean, but caring and silly. I'm so thankful for Wes and his unconditional love for me. I want to be a woman who has unconditional respect for him, at all hours of the night, I know this is possible through the Holy Spirit and something I am working on night by night. I'm so thankful for the times the healthy cycle spins. It's just so fun and wonderful. Lord, help me be a nice wife who respects unconditionally.


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