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Sometimes We Just Need to Be Held

Last night Sophie woke up to a really loud thunderstorm around 3am. Thunderstorms are her biggest fear. And fireworks. Every night before she goes to bed she asks me if there will be any fireworks or thunderstorms that night. And when they happen she quickly becomes hysterical. We are at my parents right now, and I've been sleeping in their newly renovated basement so I had no idea what was happening but quickly heard her sobs on the monitor and ran upstairs. This was probably the most scared I've ever seen her because it was one of those thunderstorms that booms and roars and lights up the sky. So when I got upstairs and looked at my weather app to see that the storm wasn't going to stop anytime soon, I asked if she wanted me to stay and sleep in her bed. Of course she said yes, so I ran back downstairs and got Liza's monitor and cuddled up next to her. She stopped crying immediately and within the minute she was back asleep. Even though it was so loud and bright, because I was there and she held my hand in her sleep, she was able to fall back asleep and sleep soundly through the rest of the night.

I was literally just thinking that night before I fell to sleep I would love to cuddle Soph in her sleep some time but because since her birth, I've established a clear boundary that she has her own bed and we have our own, I've always been nervous to sleep with her afraid it would make her want that every night. Now that she's three, if she needs me to sleep with her on a scary night, I'm more than happy to. And as I laid there with her last night I was thinking about Jesus. So many different times in scripture He tells us how he longs to hold us, care for us, sing over us. The Lord is so kind and gentle and has rescued me from my fears, wiped away my tears, guided me to spacious pastures. He is present at all times, but I feel Him the closest when I'm desperate for Him. I long to be more child-like. To simply call out to Jesus when the thunderstorm comes and be able to immediately stop crying and fall back asleep because I know He is with me. Holding me and loving me. And I long to be more Christ-like. To have the patience to always hold and love and care and sing. Thank you Jesus for using Sophia over and over again to teach me about you and your deep love and care.


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